Hey there. Thanks for tuning in. I was worried that you might be distracted by the NHL playoffs on ESPN and not have time to read, but then I realized it was hockey. On TV. Enough said.

Was that junior guard Jason Malone I saw walking out of the gym with a bandage above his eye?

I swear, how many times do the coaches have to tell him to be careful when he goes cutting through the lane?

Much to the displeasure of neat freaks everywhere, Oozeball served up a day of muddy fun for more than 800 UTD students.

Among the items found stuck in the mud after the competition – six pairs of shoes, three muddy t-shirts and a 5’4″ freshman.

During the faculty/SGA showdown, university administrators threatened to raise tuition again unless the old guys won.

The SGA, representing students’ interests like they do oh so well, let the faculty win three straight games.

Men’s tennis coach Jeremy Morse is a soccer player at heart and a soccer coach by trade. Even so, he’s been able to guide the tennis team to a respectable 5-2 record, and I think I know why – communication. After all, they don’t call it Morse code for nothing.

Ahhhh spring is in the air. And you know what that means – final exams. But more importantly it means overpaid, over-bulked players begin to show up nightly on the boob tube occasionally hitting monstrous homeruns but striking out even more often.

Along with the yearly advent of baseball comes the start of America’s favorite pastime – fantasy baseball – where players earn points based on how well they perform on the field.

The top major league pitcher, the Anaheim Angels’ Bartolo Colon, is averaging 22 fantasy points per start.

Not bad, but if UTD’s senior right-hander Tony Adler was judged by the same scoring system, he’d be worth more than 30 points a game.

The rest of the Comet baseball team isn’t far behind. Let’s recap the third inning of UTD’s 15-3 shellacking of the Ozarks April 10.

The Comets offense, with more teeth than the entire Ozarks infield (hey, they are from Arkansas), collected five singles, four walks, three homeruns, two stolen bases and a triple in the one frame. The 11 runs UTD scored were more than they had allowed in their previous 42 innings.

Not to be outdone, the Lady Comets softball team is on an eight game win-streak. More impressive still is their modus operandi. Employing a shock and awe tactic, UTD has outscored its opponents 82-9 over the course of the streak.

I now regret to inform you that I must return you to your regularly scheduled hockey programming already in progress.