How porn degrades women, distorts the mind
“Abby” — we’ll call
her — has what you might call the ideal husband: loving, intelligent and
attractive. But no matter how hard they try in the bedroom, Abby cannot become
sexually aroused. “It’s not like he’s only willing to try a handful of mundane
things … and it’s not because he’s some ugly potato.” Rather, it’s because
Abby’s husband is unwilling to curse at her, call her degrading names or beat
her.
You see, Abby became addicted to pornography when she was 12
years old. As she described in her email to Fight the New Drug, a non-religious
non-legislative organization aiming to help individuals make informed decisions
about porn, Abby’s addiction rewired her brain so that being mistreated was the
only way she could experience sexual pleasure. Those fortunate enough to have never
been exposed to pornography may wonder what could possibly be degrading enough
to affect someone’s mind like that. But a look at what porn does and how this
can happen will reveal how evil pornography really is.
A 2015 survey
conducted by the Barna Group revealed that 67% of male teens and young
adults ages 13-24 and 33% of female teens and
young adults view porn regularly. Several studies from
peer-reviewed journals such as Social Science Quarterly and the Journal of Sex
Research have already shown that porn can cause
individuals to feel more anxious, depressed and lonely. But it affects
relationships, too.
According to a 1988 study in the Journal of Applied Social
Psychology and a 2010 literature review from a University of Arkansas
professor, those who watch porn report feeling less love for their romantic
partners. As they grow accustomed to the airbrushed faces, super-sized breasts
and unconditional enthusiasm of porn actors, viewers lose satisfaction with
their real-life partners’ looks and sexual performance. This can leave the
partner feeling confused, inadequate and betrayed.
A 2018 review in behavioral sciences, another peer-reviewed
publication, found that as porn viewers get bored with the “mild” stuff like
watching strangers have sex, they delve into more hardcore material. Content which the viewer may
have formerly considered morally objectionable becomes stimulating. Violence
seems to be the norm in pornography, as 88% of porn film scenes contain physical aggression, according
to a 2010 study published in Violence Against Women. It’s common in porn videos
to witness a male actor slapping, shaking, or choking the female before forcing
her into a position where he can ejaculate on her face.
There comes a point in mainstream porn where the line
between consent and rape is too blurred to be identifiable. Former porn actress
Regan Starr recounts a scene: “I
got the s**t kicked out of me … most of the girls start crying because they’re
hurting so bad … I couldn’t breathe. I was being hit and choked. I was really
upset, and they didn’t stop. They kept filming. You can hear me say, ‘Turn the
f***ing camera off,’ and they kept going.”
It’s material like this that makes men think it’s okay to
rape women. Several studies have revealed that those who use porn are more
likely to believe the myth that women
actually enjoy getting raped. Not only that, but a 2011 study of college men in
the U.S. found that participants who viewed porn were more likely to say
they would rape someone if they knew they wouldn’t get caught.
According to Karen Countryman-Roswurm, an associate
professor at Wichita State University, pimps in the sex trafficking industry
know that many of their customers will be porn addicts who want to act out
their fantasies on real people, so they train the sex
slaves for what will be expected of them
by showing them violent porn videos. Some pimps use the slaves to make and
distribute porn themselves, but viewers can’t tell the difference because
mainstream pornography is already heavily loaded with themes of rape, violence
and domination. One sex trafficking victim was forced to appear in a video
which ended up on the
Sinclair Institute’s list of “sex positive productions.” On its website, the
institute claims to provide reliable information and tips for sexual health. “Every
time someone watches that film,” she said, “they are watching me being raped.”
How can something which is often indistinguishable from
rape not be considered evil? How can a habit which has been shown to ruin
relationships and distort the mind not be considered wrong?
It’s unfortunate that many young men today would
rather sit in the bathroom masturbating to a video of sexual bondage than
commit themselves to a faithful relationship with a real woman. Of course, it’s
immensely difficult to develop a healthy romantic relationship. It requires
great effort, empathy and self-control. But it’s that kind of relationship
which will produce real love. A relationship free from video-screen adultery,
untainted by unrealistic expectations and violent fantasies.
Maybe you’re hooked on porn. If so, it’s not too late to
make the decision to stop. There are resources that can help you quit, such as
Covenant Eyes, an accountability website which offers screen-monitoring
software for those trying to quit viewing porn. With determination and courage,
you can change for the better and prevent the negative consequences of viewing
porn. Leave behind the world of fake love and start living in reality, with
real people and real joy.