Comet Love

Inside romantic life at UTD

A  recent survey found
that over 70% of UTD students want to be in relationships, but get held back by
school, their personal lives and other commitments. While this may seem to
prove the stereotype that there’s little to no love at UTD, students have
figured out how to make their relationships work in healthy ways.

Mechanical engineering senior Janrose Samson was swiping
through Tinder after Valentine’s Day when she matched with computer science
graduate student Alejandro Mestanza, who didn’t look like he belonged on
Tinder, she said. Later that night, he messaged her and they went on their first
date the following Saturday.

“We ate and I don’t remember much, honestly, besides just
smiling a lot and thinking, ‘Oh, he’s really cute.’ I talk a lot when I’m
nervous,” Samson said. “I remember thinking near the end we got more quiet and
awkward and ran out of things to talk about naturally. And then all of a sudden
he’s like, ‘Well I mean do you want to get boba?’ He prolongs the date and I’m
like, ‘Oh he does like me.’”

After their first date, she invited Mestanza over to her
apartment for cookies she’d made. Three weeks later, Mestanza asked Samson to
be his girlfriend. She said their relationship blossomed the more they hung out
together, and after declaring their desire for a serious relationship, the pair
have been inseparable. She said that while she didn’t believe in love at first
sight, she felt good looking at Mestanza’s profile and she was open to the idea
of seeing where it went.

“I truly wasn’t looking for a relationship at that point.
But then I think I was in a good place because of that. I wasn’t looking for
one anymore,” Samson said. “I was more happy with myself, you know? So I think
that’s when you actually find a good relationship. It’s when you’re at peace
with yourself and you’re just putting your best foot out there because that’s what
you attract.”

In a Mercury survey of 143 students, 33.6% of respondents said they were in relationships. Of those respondents, 32.6% met online, like Samson and Mestanza. It’s been nearly 10 months since they first met, and Mestanza said they keep their relationship going through honest communication and by making efforts to understand each other’s viewpoints.

“It’s not like two people are perfect for each other right
away. Two people are good for each other if they can work towards building a
perfect relationship,” he said. “Relationships aren’t inherent, but they’re
made.”

The two frequently spend time together hanging out at
Samson’s apartment, trying new foods at local restaurants and doing homework
together in campus labs. Samson said Mestanza will come to her Anime Orchestra
Ensemble concerts and Society of Women Engineers events frequently and help her
with her homework.

“I was struggling on an assignment. He came in clutch, you
know? I mean, as a (computer science) grad student, he’s just so smart,” she
said. “I feel like it’ll take me hours to think about something or figure
something out and he’ll come and just like help me in like 30 minutes and I’m
like, wow.”

60.1% of survey respondents said they weren’t in
relationships. Common reasons included not meeting the right person, having
other priorities or not wanting to commit, among other things. Nearly 40% of
respondents hadn’t been on any dates. Of those respondents, 62.1% said they
hadn’t been asked.

Before his relationship, Mestanza said, he perpetuated the
stereotype of a lack of love at UTD. Being single for most of his time at UTD
and having low self-esteem, Mestanza said it was easy to feel sad about not
being in a relationship.

“I feel like it’s really easy to get into a self-perpetuating cycle of feeling sad because you’re not with anybody, so seeing yourself as lower (and) feeling sad about it. At some point I do agree with it,” he said. “You just have to leave yourself open to the possibility that things could happen and you know, work on yourself first and make sure you’re not in a bad place.”

Miranda and Ian Brown met at UTD in 2015 while working as peer advisors in Res Hall West. The couple got married in January 2020. Photo Courtesy of Lillian Turner